CHAPTER 23. (Incomplete)

Once I had graduated I knew that staying that final summer at home was not going to be an option.  My mother was insisting that I attend a conversion program, and I had no desire to be subjected to whatever pseudo-treatments they might have planned to "straighten" me out.  Some mothers care for their chicks, others kick them out of the nest to fend for themselves.  Preatty clearly her Jesus was more important to her than her own family.  Both my Dad and I had eventually found ourselves driven from home by her, for different reasons, of course.

I went to visit Fox that summer just as I had planned, and found the carnival with no problem, not yet open and still setting up.  Fox had written me the streets where it could be found, so while Fox couldn't arrange to meet me at the station, it was just a matter of taking the bus to the right street. 

I got there and gave my name to the first man I saw working there, and he waved me on in.  "Hi, David." he said.  "Fox's been expecting you, made sure we all knew about you.  Go on in.  He'll probably be in the back now.  We're still setting up."

I went and found him at the roller coaster ride setting it up.  Not a real roller-coaster, exactly, this ride was about twenty feet wide and about a hundred feet long, you got some bumps and dips and a tug up a high lift once on the circuit, but they would send you around it a dozen times for your ticket.  It took a lot of nuts and bolts to fit the big pieces together, and Fox was there wielding a wrench. 

"Hey, Fox!" I hollered.

"Hey, little buddy!" he called.  It had been weeks since I'd seen him, so I ran up and hugged him and he hugged me back. "I got to get back to work now.  My trailer is that one over there."

"You own a trailer?" I asked.

"It's not mine, but I share one, and you will be staying with us while you're here.  We'll be fine."

"Sure." I said.

"Hey, Djolan, quit bugging the customers and get back to work." Then I noticed the Hispanic kid yelling at Fox wasn't a kid at all.  He was a little person.

"It's my friend.  I told you he was coming!" Fox hollered back. "And I'm getting back to work now."

"Hey, kid." the little man came over.  Thick black hair in a curly disarranged mop on his head, a sleeveless shirt with one corner torn off, showing a six pack, blue jeans that weren't pre-faded shit, they had faded through years of wear and were grimy with oil and dirt and he smelled of honest sweat and labor.

"Nice to meet you, sir."  I shook his hand and forgot to let go.  Just held it and looked into those blue eyes and he looked at me, sizing me up, and then he grinned.

"They all call me Butch.  Nice to meet you, too." he said, shaking my hand again and sort of pulling my hand back, toward him, pulling me  step forward. "And you're Squeeter?" he asked, using the nickname Fox had given me.. 

I felt my face go hot with embarrassment.  First it meant that Fox had told him I had a little dick.  Then I wondered what else he knew.

Butch shook his head, like he just figured something out about me, then said, "You bunk with The Fox and me in my camper, but he said it like "campa".  I realized that Butch had just called him "The Fox" not "Fox", and then remembered his real name was Danny Bliss. But he had also called him something else I didn't quite catch.  We got a sort of closed-off square back there, we call it the "back yard".  Go on in and make yourself to home.  We'll be done in a moment.  I got to find some guys to help while we finish putting it together."

"I don't mind helping." I said.  "Quicker you're done, the quicker Fox and I can catch up."

Butch looked me over.  "Strike me a muscle on that arm of yours." he ordered.

I flexed my bicep and he reached out and checked it just like a man buying a horse checks its teeth.  I had a little muscle there, enough to show when I flexed.  He shrugged and nodded.  Grabbed my upper arm like a man checking out a horse.  

"Okay, Squeeter, you got a deal." Butch said, and I wondered if that was going to me my name now.  "Grab that end over there and haul on it.  When we get it in position, you're going to be holding it in place and I mean holding it until we get a dozen or more bolts in place.  So I hope you're not bluffing me with that one muscle of yours."

It was hard work.  It wasn't hard to get the thing into place with Butch's help, and another young guy came by to help us out.  Then I walked my hands over to the middle of the frame and he let go, leaving me holding about 150 pounds of dead metal all by myself.  He was a little guy, but he was strong, very strong,. I got some help by bracing against the framework at one end, but that was it.  I held it while he inserted bolts and tightened nuts on them, and then went to another and tightened it, and another, and another. I was sweating by the end of the very first one when he said, "Okay Squeeter, you can let go and take a breather." And I noticed the smirk on the face of the young guys helping us.  He was maybe fourteen, and his name was Jeremy.

I did and Butch grinned as he looked up at me.  "Twenty of those to go and you and your Fox can kick back and relax the rest of the evening.  Okay?"

"Okay." I said.  Thinking, what the fuck, only 19 more!   I didn't do anything else, but that was plenty and more than plenty!

Two thirds of that afternoon I was doing nothing, but the other third Jeremy and I held up 150 pounds of metal while Butch inserted bolts.  My arms ached, ached bad, then my back began to ache until it hurt worse than my arms.

 "Last one, Squeeter." Butch said.  "Get ready to haul."

I did and my back spasmed as I lifted it into place.  "Ouch! Ow!" I moaned and darned near dropped my end.  Butch moved fast and kept it from landing on Jeremy, the guy at the other enf.  "I was afraid it was too much for you." Butch    said sympathetically.  "Go on to the tents.  I'll be in and put something on your back a little later, okay?"

"Okay." I said and took off to the tents.  

"Later, Squeeter," Jeremy yelled across  the distance I had already put between us.  He had a smile that I had seen before countless times by guys who enjoyed those reminders that I had a smaller dick.  Fox had pointed to a particular camper and it wasn't hard to find it, especially when I saw a photo of me lying on a small table inside.  I saw two bunk beds inside, and an ubfilled air mattress on the floor.  It wasn't hard to figure that the air mattress was mine. 

I managed to get the mattress blown up and then, half out of breath, stretched out on it and lay there, looking at the central area and just enjoyed not having my back do anything but be still.

There were ten such campers, and they were hooked at one corner so that you had a sort of courtyard in the middle with the four tents making the corners and a space between in the shape and about the proportions of the Red Cross.  In that central area was a cooking fire with a small fire burning under a pot of some meat-smelling stuff, and one "arm" had a sheet up and a tub of water; bathing facilities no doubt.  Another "arm" had a Port-O-Let, which explained that. The third was a sort of dump-this-stuff-somewhere place and the fourth was the entrance.  Three of the campers had extended awnings with chairs and tables set up in the shade.  Rugged living.  Probably fit Fox just fine, but after years with my Mom reminding me to "take off your shoes before you scuff my floor, I just waxed it."   I loved it. Nothing to scuff up here!

"Hey, kid." Fox came in.  "See you found your bunk."

"Yeah." I said.

"It's Butch's camper.  He's the boss and part-owner of this carnival.  You're lucky he's agreeing to share this with us, or we'd've had to get a tent, or find a motel and I can't afford it.  So you be very nice to him."

 "No problem." I said.  "I like Butch.  He's nice."

"That's good." Fox said and sat down. "He likes you too, already told me as much.  He is a very special guy, and basically is the only family I have now Gramps passed."

He paused.  It was unusual for Fox to pause and I had almost never seen Fox having second thoughts or having any sort of anxiety.  

"I told him about us," he continued, gesturing back and forth between us with a forefinger, "and . . ."

"Is there a problem?" I interrupted.

He laughed at the serious look on my face.  "Lord no," Fox laughed out loud, "Butch is queer as a three dollar bill,"  Then gave me an expression that he was reconsidering his words, and corrected himself, "No, queer isn't the right word.  He is okay with sexual behavior with men, women, hermaphrodites, cross dressers, animals, whatever comes his way."  He laughed again saying, "Some day they will make up a word for that."

He paused, took a breath.  "And he knows about your squeeter, and all the shit you have taken about it."  

I felt a rush of blood make the skin on my chest and face hot.

"And he will," he placed a heavy emphasis on the word "will", then continued quickly with "tease you about it.  Just like he teases me about my donkey dick."  I introduce myself as Fox, but all the carnies here call me 'Djolan' after djolano, a mule."

I smiled.  

"It's not a complement," he said, "The carnies associate donkey dick with donkey brains, so it also means I'm stubborn, a hard worker--but also lazy, and not so smart."

"Listen," his face got real serious, "Whatever you do, be good natured about the whole squeeter thing, act like your proud of it, but if you get weird about it things won't go well."  I nodded when he paused, and then he went on, "And Butch is gonna ask you to  be in a nautch show, which means jerking off for a rube,  but save the big cum shot for a group, and maybe some blow jobs or getting fucked.'

'I paused a long time, "So I'm supposed to be like the carnival whore?"

"Nah, not for the carnies," he emphasized, "just the rubes."  But the guys will come check you out too.  The world loves freak shows, and that little dick will earn you your keep."  He kept going, "Everyone knows you are mine, my rakli, and you got no skills, so otherwise you'll just be a prat boy."  Though in a kootch show you might get fucked by one of the guys, or Mara, or most likely Butch.  

 "I do want to visit but I am filthy, so I'm going to take a shower while I still can."  Fox stood up and began to strip right where he was.

"Are you going to take a bath here?"

"No, but there's no place over there to hang your clothes.  Just men in this area, by the way. So don't worry about what you're wearing.  It's the roustabout way."

"The roustabout way?" I asked.

"Yep." Fox said.  "You take care of each other on the road.  You're part of a family.  You hear 'hey, Rube!', you go running and help the fellow traveler in trouble and don't ask how or why.  I really like this life.  Hope to do it for a long time."  You have to know Fox as well as I did to know he had finally found his calling and I said as much.

Fox stripped down completely looked over at me and asked, "You ain't coming/' So I shucked off my clothes too and followed him naked, his kong dong swinging wildly as he ran.  Fox was right, if he hadn't drawn attention to himself with his wild antics and flopping no one would have even turned to look.  I kept my towel in front of me.

We had just gotten into the shower when I heard "Hey, kid, is this yours?" It was Butch standing at the entrance to the showers.  He dropped my duffel bag on a fold up chair.  "Found it after you left."

"Yeah, I forgot it, helping you."

"I thought so." Butch said, taking off his shirt.  I looked on hungrily as he stripped down, showed me his body and left his clothes on my duffel bag.  He had a small growth on his beard, not that he hadn't shaved, but that it was growing back fast on him.  It gave him a shadow, I think they call it.  His waist was narrow and taut, his barrel chest was wide and well-muscled, his nipples were big brown ovals.  He wiped his body with  the shirt he had just removed, and his muscles rippled back and forth as he did so.  I couldn't take my eyes off it.  For a little guy he was ripped.  

"Like this body, kid?" he asked me. "Am I your first 'little person'?"

 I looked at him and there was no challenge in his voice or his eyes, just the statement.  "Yeah." I said. 

"I don't have those kind of muscles.  Fox has had me working out, but it's a lot of hard work and not much improvement.  And since he left. . . "  I thought about the night my mom kicked him out of our house.

"How long you been at it?"  We were talking about my muscles, but his eyes were fixed on my penis.  

"Three or four months."

"You'll get there.  Give it three years." was his comment.  We got a set of free weights in the backyard.  "He smiled and then pointed at my squeeter and said, "but you're 17 right?"

"Yeah,"

"I don't think that's gonna get any bigger."  Then he looked over at Fox, "Get him hard, I wanna see what we got to work with."

Fox just smiled shyly and I understood why he had warned me.  He touched my dick and it sprung to life so fast and so hard that it literally slapped up hard as wood against my pubes.  Butch laughed watching my squeeter bob.

"Want to try it?"

    

"Sure." I said and started to reach and my back, but maybe tomorrow."

"Oh, yeah, your back." Butch seemed abashed that he had forgotten it.  "I got some liniment in my tucker.  You strip off that shirt and roll over and I'll rub it on you."

    

I tried while he got the liniment, but I was still struggling with my buttons.  Every motion I made, my back yelled in pain.

Butch saw me wincing and said, "Here, kid, you just hold still."  And he stepped over, planning to undo my shirt for me, no doubt.

"Hey, Butch." Fox came back, still half-wet and still naked.  I sneaked a look at his dong and it was a dark fat banana in his pubic hair.  Then Fox sat down, toweling at his hair and said, "What's with David?"

"Squeeter?" Butch clarified, "He hurt his back helping us." Butch said.  "I'm going to rub some

liniment on his back."

    

"I'll do it." Fox said.  "Why don't you go take a bath now?"

    

Fox came over and partially blocked my view as Butch stripped out of his clothing.  Fox

unbuttoned my shirt and said, "Now lie down mattress." I did so and turned my head to keep watching Butch.  I remembered what Fox had told me about him months back. Butch caught me looking as he finished taking off his boots and he grinned and stood up, facing me as he

shucked out of his pants.  He was wearing some yellowed briefs beneath, not filthy, just well-worn and nearly worn- out, and just as he shucked out of that, Fox hit my back with the liniment.

    

"Ooh!" I said as I saw Butch's cock, an enormous piece of meat.  Maybe it was the context of a large dick on such a small guy  "Ow!" as the liniment hit the small of my back.  It burned like crazy!  "Ow, that hurts!" I complained.

     

"Hold still, friend." Fox said as he wielded the liniment.  "Got to get it in."  He worked at my back, sitting straddle of me with his crotch grinding into my buttocks, and only my jeans to prevent it from being bare-skin contact. 

Butch stood there, watching my Fox rub that into my back, and I saw his cock begin to twitch and rise up.  The sight of Fox rubbing my back was turning him on!  I guess we did look pretty sexual, me without my shirt and Fox naked on top of me, him moving his whole body as he rubbed the liniment into the small of my back where the pain was.  I looked at his meat and I unconsciously licked my lips, realized what I was doing, looked up at him. 

Butch grinned and said, "That's enough rubbing, Fox.  Your boy needs a full massage.  And I want to see what you he learned."

    

Fox smiled a bit too broadly, winked, then got up and unlaced my sneakers and got them off and then my socks and then reached under me to unfasten my jeans button.  But his hand on the far side from the open-sided tent went in further and Fox groped at my now hard cock.  I looked out at Butch who was watching us.  Someone else was watching as well--the cook--who was building up the fire beneath the pot.  He then started preparing vegetables at the table and I guessed it meant stew for supper.

"I am glad you found him, Fox." Butch said sincerely.

       

Fox shucked my jeans off and then came back up for my briefs. "And this butt of yours looks really nice." he breathed in my ear.  "I'm going to enjoy this as much as you do." 

"Before you were born," Butch told me, "you and your soul mate were one, a single soul."

Fox smiled and discretely pointed at me nd back at himself as he mouthed the words "soul mates".

Butch continued, "Then, as your time to enter this world approached, that single soul shattered two parts, in this case one male with a dominant masculine aspect and one male intended to be subordinate. These your half-souls were then born into the world with a mission to try to find each other and reunite."

"My apprentice has been searching for you for a long time," he finished.  "It's time to reunite, and I am your witness."

Fox flipped me face up and mounted me quickly and shoved the entire length of his rod into me with a single thrust.  The onslaught of his great masculine wonder against my prostate was altering my brain chemistry even more, or maybe it was his confidence, his charm, his pheromones, or maybe it was just him--maybe what he said was true--that his seed had changed me somehow, that now I belonged to him.  I have never had something hurt that much and still feel so good.  Now I badly wanted to take his load, but I wasn't that sure I could take the assault of his monster penis against my prostate much longer.  He started to thrust in again, now harder than before, and faster.  I'd felt something "pop" inside me.  his dick was alive inside me.

His thrusts were incredibly painful and I remember begging him to stop, but he said it would pass, but it never did. Once he was root deep into me, he built up to a regular rhythm. I had my legs wrapped around him like a girl. 

As if on cue, despite the pain, that feeling began to grow again.  I had to concentrate hard to suppress it.  The sun was filtering through the canopy of leaves and limbs onto his back, and he was working so hard the sweat was dripping off his body and mingling with my own.  It was real Bliss.  He wasn't just fucking me.  Every thrust was carefully aimed against my sweet spot.  Animal sex, but not completely selfish.

He knew my body well by now and knew how to find his angle.  He was driving his thick shank of meat harder against my prostate.   In three more strokes I was bucking like a wild stallion being broken by a cowboy and this monstrous orgasm hit me.   Butch held my arms and legs to secure me as Fox pumped harder into me.

It was earth shattering.  

This surpassed every orgasm I had ever experienced before, like a whole lifetime of orgasms suddenly exploding inside me all a once.  Intense. I couldn't breath.  Sustained, this orgasm was deep up in my ass, not starting from my dick.  Like an explosion of bliss way up inside of me. Despite the pain filling me, I was actively participating now, pushing up and grinding against him.  I was gasping, and grunting, and crying out and Butch had to put his hand over my mouth again.  My orgasm should have come to an end, but he kept thrusting into me again and again, and this time it just kept going on and on, sorta reminding me of those long multiple pre-cum orgasms I had experienced as a boy before I was quite ready to shoot.  I don't know what he was doing, but the look on his face told me that he was doing something to sustain my orgasm.  I lost all control of my limbs as my arms and legs seized and cramped.  I was gasping for air.  My small penis had retracted deep inside me and my balls drawn up tight against me throbbed painfully with each seizure.

With a wild cry, his primal instincts took over completely.  He was going to cum deep inside me, deeper than ever before, and there was no way he was going to stop it.  He grunted, and it was loud and feral and deep.  His penis seemed to expand even more inside me and I could feel this long pole erupting, filling me with again with his seed but deeper than he had ever drilled before.  I could feel his warm body fluids flowing into me and becoming part of the lubrication for each next thrust. Like I said before, Fox is a cum fountain. Each time he drove it in, I pushed against him to force his rigid convulsing cock in deeper.  Howling like a wild animal, Fox thrust in repeatedly as far as he could go, each time leaving me with another deposit of cum.  With a final groan and a deep thrust, he finished the process of claiming me forever, and the act was witnessed by his own mentor, who I realized had taught him everything he knew about seduction.  I had given blow jobs, been fucked, even had anal orgasms, but somehow, this time had been different.  This way I felt changed by Fo the first time he came inside me, now felt completed, a permanent transformation for which there was not going back.  "You belong to me now," echoed again and again in the labyrinth of my mind.  And I knew it was true.  No ring in a marriage ceremony could have bound me to my husband more than this moment.  This was a spell that could be cast only once, and it was permanent.

Then Butch got into position, his crotch against my butt and his cock rested in my ass cheeks, this time with no jeans to stop it.  He squeezed some oil on his hands and rubbed them together and then onto my back.  He rubbed at my shoulders and rubbed hard and as he did, he hunched his cock back and forth between my ass cheeks.  I felt his cock get hard as a rock in no time.  Like a bar of steel.

"I know you are Fox's boy.  This is the last part of the rite.  When I do this there is no going back, no divorce, No second chances.  Your love for Fox has empowered the first part of this rite.  My intention will complete this, my will.  This cannot be undone, if ever you are separated you will sicken and die.  You will function as one being."

"You belong to me, Squeeter," Fox announced, "But I belong to you as well." 

"This will change you, forever"  Fox said.

Butch interrupted, "This will define who you are, your soul and your flesh.  You can choose to remain as you are, or to transform."

"But I want you to stay as you are, stay my Squeeter." Fox exclaimed, "And I will forever remain your Fox."

Fox kissed me, truly, deeply, with a forever kiss, and I understood there was magic in the world I have never suspected before him.  I could change, become the man I never thought possible, or I could choose to remain as I am, something separate and apart for 99% of other men.  I saw myself for the first time, reflected in Fox's eyes, ad realized I was perfect just the way I was, micropenis and all.  Fox had already worked to make the changes in my body that he desired.  I was the one he had chosen.  He had prepared me for this moment.

I made my decision and chose to be exactly who I saw reflected in Fox's eyes.  I watch his own body morph, his musculature grew more defined, until he was he became the reflection he had seen in my eyes.